Choose discomfort and transcend it into comfort

How one decision can change your life forever..

The Dorm Experience.....

Of course, I slept in dorms in my teenage years and twenties while traveling the world with my little orange backpack. But for the past 4 years, I have avoided this experience at all costs. Drop in “We get what we tolerate” This was an absolute I do not tolerate. But as a 3 line in my HD and a human who desires to experience it all, I know that what I resist most gifts the deepest teachings. 

So here’s what happened. Last Sunday was the Cape Town cycle tour, a very busy time in the city. I booked an Airbnb and noticed on Sunday the booking never got confirmed. 

As I was sitting at the beach a voice came in 'You have to stay at a hostel'. The resistance felt different this time. 'You have to go experience what you have been avoiding'. I heard again. I started laughing as I witnessed the sun setting into the ocean. Am I going to do this? Am I choosing this experience and feeling joyful? 

What the F is happening? 

Because here’s the thing. In my mind I made this experience mean a sh*tload of things. Mostly; shame, how can someone in their thirties sleep in a dorm, that’s just something you don’t do. It also came with failure, not-enoughness, losing face, what would other people think…..

It felt like playing in a completely different dimension, which is also the case.

In my universe sleeping in a dorm would almost equal living on the street :S I know the mind does funny things sometimes..

But the voice in my heart became louder and louder. 'Just go f*cking do it, get over yourself, and get this whole thing out of your head'. 

4 years you guys, 4 years I had been avoiding this one experience.

With so much joy in my heart and a big smile on my face, I arrived at the hostel-hotel. I was fully in. 

The dorm experience

At check-in, I asked if they had an empty dorm. This was available, they offered to book the full dorm, 6 beds, for €55,- I could have done that. But hey I was here to experience sleeping in a dorm, so I turned this option down and opted for the female-only dorm. 

I had the best time ever. Not only did I meet super nice people from all over the world. Many were my age or older. I felt safe in my body. Plus I had a good night of sleep, even better than at some other places I stayed. 

So as I was sitting at the breakfast table the next morning, I saw so many people in their 40s or 50s even, connecting, chatting with each other, and seriously having the best time ever, because hey they were on freaking holiday in Cape Town.

And there I was sitting questioning all my beliefs. I linked this one experience to my self-worth, and more so, to the shame and worry of losing face in what others would think of me. Seriously there lies so much power to no longer care what other people think! That is the true liberation!

Can you relate? How many times have you linked your experiences to self-worth? I know I did and I witness it with my clients too, we do this often. Babe, if this experience taught me anything, 'IT' only lives in your mind. It only lives in your f*cking mind. Like this did in mine too. Stop caring about what the outside world potentially could think. So drop the fight, drop the fight, drop the fight. 

Drop the fight of being in the mind all the time. I am activating a deeper embodiment in Money March with Shonshanna Raven this month, dropping the f*cking fight! Your mind can be a powerful tool to co-create with, so tune in with your body, and ask your body; 'are you co-creating with that brilliant mind of yours or are you living in your head?'

During that first morning, I heard the voice again. 'You need to stay for 3 more nights'. I could feel the resistance surfacing again. But I decided to honor the whispers of my soul, taking it one day at a time, and booked another night ;-)

Holding Duality

This was such a great opportunity to teach my nervous system to hold duality. On the one side, I was working on my soul missioned business, practicing quantum flow, going to the beach, and facilitating client sessions, and on the other end I was choosing to sleep in a dorm. Especially being a projector, and clear feeler, this is freaking intense energetically. Soo where are my empaths, clear feelings, and sensitive souls in da house??? I am sure you can relate!! However, I imagined if I could continue playing the game in this scenario, anything else would be easy! 

I chose to surrender and allowed it to exist simultaneously in my world without making it mean anything.

More nature was needed though, in the mornings and evenings. I spend most of my time outside & outdoors. 

We all learn differently, and I am one of these people who learns through experience, the trial and error process (3 Line). I noticed I still held a lot of judgment in my field, for myself and therefore also towards others. By the way,  because I am trying all these things it can save you the trials, errors, and figuring out ;-)

How are you holding duality in your body and quantum field? Can you hold it, or do you stress, freeze, fly, or run... I have done all of it, personally, I freeze... But I generally also like to place myself back in similar situations, to train my nervous system to hold it and teach my body that I am safe. The Quantum Flow practice has been helping me a lot in the past two years to regulate my nervous system, hold my vision, and keep moving forward. 

I recorded a free activation, Flow into Joy, a while back. I'd love for you to give it a try.. Click Here, and get the energy flowing..

And don't feel shy to let me know how you felt afterward.. Your engagement and getting to know you mean the world to me.

Let's continue the story.. The next morning

I added another night but had to move into a mixed dorm. Eyk, body contraction, 'can I not stay in the female dorm' said the little girl's voice out loud. Nope, we are fully booked answered the receptionist. I almost bailed, but I was devoted to continuing this experience. 

That’s the one thing that I do know about myself. When I choose something I go fully in. The discomfort might contract at first, but will expand!! That night there was so much noise, this room was on the street side. The loud music until late, and the rising of the Green Market Square guys, who started rolling their carts to the market around 6 am, made this not the best night of rest.  

I am super sensitive to noise and prefer staying in nature. But consciously choose to stay in cities now and then, after all, I came back for the human experience and not to live underneath a rock. In discomfort we grow, there is nothing wrong with it!

Feeling home & safe within myself

My biggest takeaway from this experience is that I FELT SAFE. This was all looping me to experiencing a deeper layer of safety and feeling at home within my body & myself. Also related to my sexual childhood trauma, I didn’t like shared places where strangers could walk in and out..

The BREAKTHROUGH

Emotions had been running high, I could feel the changes, and the release was near..

We are on the third day now, the day of my breakthrough. By the way that morning, I booked the 4th night but returned to the female-only dorm. To my surprise, I got the same bed, number 7, and noticed that no one slept there. It was a no-show, a little annoyed, but also seeing the bigger picture I thanked the universe for allowing me to experience this weaving of the divine feminine and masculine energies in this way and a deeper anchoring of the home within myself. 

My body started to feel more tired, as I was wandering around, I didn’t know what to do with myself that morning. Emotions were surfacing, but I couldn’t fully tap into it yet. I went to the beach, journaled, sang, cried a few tears, got my energy back up to facilitate a client session, and eventually decided to visit my sister. 

This brought it all back home. For a while already, I could feel she was reflecting a part within me that I was refusing to let go. But I hadn't been able to see where it was guiding me to. Entering her home, I could feel my body relaxing. So after our conversations, me sharing, she listening, exchanging words, energy, and frequency it clicked. 

She had manifested the one thing I never invested in, the one thing that I never really had.

Babe, the people, environments, and situations that trigger you, are showing the parts you resist within yourself. It has very little to do with the other. Become aware of the parts you are not allowing in, where are you judging yourself and how is this impacting the way you are perceiving the word?

Sabotaging

Only once in my life, have I created a home for myself. Meaning my furniture, art, painted walls, kitchenware, and so on. This was my first year studying in Breda, and in my second student house. Which didn't feel like a student house, as I only shared the kitchen and bathroom with one other girl and my living space was huge.

After it always had been half-half experiences, most of the time I would not even invest in bedding and sleep in my sleeping bag for the longest time, back in the day I also preferred sleeping on the couch instead of in bed. The only thing I found important was food and dishing it nicely. Because food was love to me and a form of art, this is where I found my peace and calm. But I never made a place feel like home again according to my taste and my belongings. 

During my Cape Town season, I dreamt about living in a loft, so of course I manifested it. It was semi-furnished, and I felt super excited about buying some furniture and plants, making the place home. I ordered a custom-made wooden table and on the day of delivery, I found a million reasons to return the table. 

• The table had some darker spots, which is super normal for the type of wood I chose :S
• I saw a few scratches and I imagined I needed the money
• So upon delivery, I decided on the spot the table wasn’t good enough, returned the table, and asked for a refund. 

I did that, can you believe it?!?

I can laugh about it now, but the amount of resistance I felt in my body to having or even creating a home has never been so visible as in recent days. One part of the loft stayed empty for the whole period I lived there, so I only ended up using half of the space.

This happens when we are not going fully in. When there is resistance in the field. Back then I never invested in coaches or mentors yet. So I had no one to reflect this behavior to me, and I didn't see what was happening. This is why it's so freaking important to place yourself in communities that make you grow, and mirror back and empower you to keep going. To place yourself in spaces where people already have embodied that you desire to master.

What in your life do you desire, but aren't fully choosing.

I never fully chose an abundant home

In my mind & heart, I was longing for a home, but my body and nervous system weren't able to receive it yet. 

Subconsciously I linked an abundant, wealthy home to feeling unsafe. 

I grew up in what on the outside looked like a wealthy family, there was always an abundance in everything. But on the inside the sexual abuse was taking place. I cried such deep tears, seeing this, feelings this, being held and witnessed by my dear sistar. So much has been lifting from my heart. 

Throughout my life, I have experienced abundance often, in my travels, experiences, and daily life. But I was never able to hold it consistently, because I never fully chose it. 

Up until I did. 

The next morning I checked out of the hostel...

I chose to do what I had been resisting for such a long time which brought a deep sense of liberation in my body. You go first and the universe will follow. Live how your future self would make her choices, follow through, from an embodied state, feel it in your heart, believe it in your mind, and keep moving forward.

May this be your inspiration to fuck the fear, slay the shame and do it anyway. It's all linked babe, your body, and the universe are constantly communicating with you. God is moving through you, start listening...

We are MULTIDIMENSIONAL the Membership

This is exactly what we do in our membership we are Multidimensional.

You’ll receive the support to do the things you resist the most, but it takes courage babe.

Isn’t it time to Embody your light leadership, and start creating stories worth experiencing?

The stories that turn out to be the greatest lessons and fun all at the same time.

So that you can hold the duality as part of the human experience.

Feel safe in your body.

Embody your purpose &

Active your unique soul's expression.

Being alive means feeling it all.

So how would it feel in the moments of overwhelm, contraction, or overflow to have someone in your corner to support you to f*ck the fear, slay the shame and do it anyway…

To celebrate your wins and start to own your stage unapologetically...?

That’s what I am offering in this membership, you will have me in your corner.

Does this feel juicy to your body? Multidimensional is your portal into body liberation & galactic activation.
 

Get your bootie in this space and let's start playing...

Here's the link to find out how to get started Multidimensional 

Love you,

Nish